i’m not going to, i’m too existentially afraid of death to ever actually kill myself but rn i kinda feel like it more than i have in a good while. it’s always in the back of my head but it was recently brought to the forefront of my mind that i’m a worthless parasite. I’ve been working a fake job at a fake company for two months now and they haven’t paid me yet and i sorta doubt they ever will. i’m just sorta bleeding money and goodwill rn so i think it’s probably only a matter of time before everyone gets sick of me and idk. it can’t be this forever and i can’t imagine things really getting any better since every opportunity i’ve ever had has just spat in my face so i should probably start planning for the eventuality that i’ll get kicked out and be homeless. i don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon either. Hopefully not, at least. idk. i’m very privileged, so i shouldn’t complain so much. i think i’m just kind of a uniquely worthless piece of shit, because if i was actually worth half a damn i’d be successful and happy. this is all my fault.