I hate being a [] so fucking much. I’m trying to not say the t-slur anymore per someone’s advice, but it’s literally the only thing that feels appropriate to say to describe myself. Like I can’t bring myself to even say the word transgender without it being part of some joke at the word itself, or my exepense. The way it crawls out my throat and sloughs off my tongue disgusts me, unlike the slur which is sharp and hateful which i think is why i can tolerate using it but feel sick to my stomach at the mere thought of the other word. Also I can feel my sanity wavering at the first fucking slightest obstacle in existence. [] has to research progesterone, what happens next will shock you!