I used to love the holidays when i was younger. I used to really look forward to them, but now it just brings me no end of anxiety bc i’m going to have to interact with all my family who are kind enough to humor me but obviously see me as the disgusting moid that i am. any misgendering being completely accidental makes it worse, even, because if it was malicious then i could dismiss it as just a way to get under my skin, but when it’s on accident i know for a fact it’s because i look like and am a man. Also I think I may legitimately be retarded, like there is something fundamentally wrong with my brain that makes me incapable of behaving normally in any situation. Very consistently, I’ll get a little too comfortable and then say some weird tranny shit and ruin everything.This has happened so many fucking times.I’m so tired