Today I woke up at like noon and stayed in bed until around 1:30. Every time I look into anything relating to hrt or any other kind of drug that’s supposed to help i feel like i’m being psyopped. There’s a few annecdotal cases of pioglitazone helping with fat distribution, but it might also kill breast development and it maybe also has like a 50/50 shot of giving you bladder cancer if taken in high doses or for longer than a year. It’s also diabetes medication so I literally don’t know what to think about it other than it would probably help but it might also fuck me up worse than i already am. I’ve also concluded that due to the fact that a) i was basically anorexic for a while from around like month 6 to month 14 and b) i was hondosed into oblivion for like two years when i first switched to injections, I’m probably just fucked forever. I didn’t masculinize at all, thankfully, but I think I’m fucked otherwise. My metabolism’s fucked to the point where I can’t lose weight unless I’m starving myself and bc of all that any fat distribution will always be androgenic, so basically I’m just absolutely fucked forever. I’ll be a twinkhon until I get old enough to mature into a regular disgusting moid with a fat disgusting stomach and conetits. Endocrinologists are evil, literally you should always fucking assume your doctor is actively trying to kill you because otherwise they will. It’s so fucking over.